So..What do you do?

It's the first question at every networking breakfast, every gala, every sideline. Someone extends a hand, smiles, and asks, “So, what do you do?” Sometimes it's the bigger version: “Who are you?”

And every time, I pause. Not because I don't know the answer. Because I have too many of them, and no single one tells the whole story.

My life has been written in chapters. Each one was real, each one shaped me, and each one could be the answer to that question. So let me try them on, one at a time.

The Short List (That Isn't Short)

Am I a volleyball player?

For four years I wore Arizona red and blue as a Wildcat volleyball letterwinner. That court taught me how to compete, how to recover from a bad rotation, and how to trust the people next to me. I still carry those lessons into every room I walk into.

Am I a graphic designer?

I earned my BFA in Studio Arts and started my career at a drafting table in Tucson. I grew from graphic designer to art director to creative director, building campaigns for Sun Tran, Casino del Sol, Visit Tucson, and University of Arizona Athletics. Design was my first language, and I still think in it.

Am I a mom?

Yes, first and always. I raised kids who became Wildcat student-athletes themselves, which makes us a four-generation Wildcat family. My daughter Mia and I even started a fund together at the UA Steele Children's Research Center to support pediatric immunotherapy research. Being their mom is the role I am proudest of.

Am I a housewife?

There were years when my main job was our home and our family. For a long time I downplayed that chapter, as if it were a gap on a resume. I don't anymore. Running a household is project management, budgeting, crisis communications, and event planning all rolled into one, with no days off.

Am I a marketing executive?

As Senior Director of global medical device company, I led the launch of COVID-19 testing products during one of the most uncertain moments in modern history, rolled out a new global brand after a major merger, and built partnerships with the Pac-12, the NFL, MLB, and NHL. It was intense, meaningful work, and it proved to me that clear communication matters most when the stakes are highest.

Am I a fundraiser?

I have helped raise more than $2 million for Southern Arizona causes, including the American Heart Association, the Arizona Diaper Bank, the American Cancer Society, and the Steele Children's Research Center. I have chaired galas, served on boards, and sat across the table from donors asking them to believe in something bigger than themselves.

Am I a partner to a public figure?
Some days, that is how I’m introduced. I spent many years married to a musician, and today I share my life with a former athlete. Two very different worlds, but both came with a spotlight, and I’m grateful for what each taught me. I’ve also learned that being someone’s “plus one” is a role, not the whole of who I am. People will hand you a label if you don’t choose one for yourself.

Am I a business owner?

Today I am the founder of J9 Brandworks, a boutique consultancy focused on brand identity, strategic partnerships, and corporate events. It is the first chapter where I get to bring every other chapter with me.

The Problem With One Word

Job titles are labels for what we did between certain dates. They tell people where you've been, but they rarely tell them who you are or why you do what you do.

When I answer with just one title, I feel like I'm leaving most of myself in the coat check. When I answer with all of them, I watch eyes glaze over somewhere around “medical device.” Neither feels right.

Finding the Thread

So I did for myself what I do for every client. I stepped back, looked at the whole story, and asked: what's the common thread?

Here's what I found. In every chapter, I was doing the same thing in a different uniform. I was helping people and organizations understand who they are, telling that story clearly, and connecting them with the people who could help them grow.

On the court, I was reading the game and lifting my teammates. At the design table, I was turning ideas into pictures people could understand at a glance. In entertainment, I was carrying stories to audiences. At a fortune 500 company, I was giving a global business one clear voice during a crisis. In fundraising, I was helping donors see why a cause mattered. And at home, I was helping my kids discover who they wanted to become.

I'm not a list of titles. I'm the thread that runs through all of them.

So, Here's My Answer

These days, when someone asks what I do, I say this:

“I help people and brands tell their story with clarity. I've had a lot of practice, because I've lived a lot of chapters.”

It's honest. It's simple. And it almost always leads to a better conversation than any title ever has.

What About You?

If you've ever stumbled over this question, you're in good company. Most of the people I work with, from executives to student-athletes, have more than one chapter too. The goal isn't to pick one and hide the rest. It's to find the thread. Here are three questions to get you started:

1. What did I keep doing in every role? Look past the titles to the work you kept coming back to.

2. What do people come to me for? Your reputation often knows your brand before you do.

3. What do I want to be known for next? Your answer should point forward, not just back.

The next time someone asks who you are, I hope you'll pause too. Not because you don't know, but because you're choosing the answer that's truly yours.